Monday Investing Humor

Monday, August 03, 2009

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Investing Definitions:

MOMENTUM INVESTING - The fine art of buying high and selling low.

VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.

BROKER — What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.

YA HOO - What you yell after selling all you owned to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo for $240 per share.

BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 36 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

2 comments:

Mr. Zulu said...

hahahaha... did you make this up yourself?

Name: Brandon Rowley said...

Ha, no, I am not nearly that funny!

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